Trust and Obey

I posted this once and took it off, but, one of you is so quick, you'd already seen it. This person was so sweet and encouraged me to repost it because this is something we all deal with, so here it is.

Does reading these words make you hear that old hymn?

When I was going through the divorce, this is what I felt God calling me to do ...trust and obey Him. Honestly, it wasn't difficult to do. If I'm being totally honest, some days it feels like it was easier to do then, than now. Why? I mean that time was the absolute most difficult time in my entire life. I had never felt so alone or hopeless. After some reflecting, here's what I've come up with. Trusting, especially, was easier then because I was at the bottom. I had no clue what to do. I had nothing to lose.

I feel God calling me to those commandments again, but these days trusting seems harder. I guess it's because I'm afraid that if I totally surrender my hopes, dreams, and my deepest heart's desire, I won't get what I want. Sounds pretty spoiled and selfish, I know. What if these things don't line up with what God has for me? Don't get me wrong. I don't want anything that goes against His plans. That's where trust comes in, isn't it? Trusting that He loves me more than anyone else could. Trusting that He sees the longings of my heart, and as my heavenly Father wants nothing more than to see me happy. And, finally, trusting that He knows what's best for me.

There may be days when trusting Him seems difficult, but I'm choosing to believe that God is faithful and that he holds me in His hands. My pastor put it so eloquently this morning. If we have God's promises and his presence, we have everything we need!

Life is more than just getting out of it what I want. We've been called to "go and make disciples among the nations". I'm so thankful that God forgives me for the times when my focus is turned inward on myself instead of outward on others.

The Amazing Race

Are you any of you Amazing Race watchers? I love this show! There are so many fascinating things in the world I probably never would have heard of if it hadn't been for seeing them on this show. This is one of my favorite reality TV shows other than Big Brother. (Ah! I know! It's a guilty pleasure!)

I started watching The Amazing Race a few years ago with my Mom and Dad and now I'm hooked. I think I've got Kelly hooked now, too! So much so, that we want to be on the show! Imagine that! Wouldn't that be a hoot? Ha!

Empty

Yes, this is really what my refrigerator looks like. I guess it's time to go the grocery store! Yuck!! Can you tell I've been putting it off?

Tuesday Togetherness

I know that on Tuesdays my mom helps out my sister, Tina, when her husband is out of town. Mom fixes them dinner while Tina takes both Chase and Garrett to practice. I just happened to find out that Mom was fixing cheeseburgers and fried potatoes. (Some of my favorites!) So, I invited myself over. It was wonderful! I also got in on some homemade apple pie, too. (Tina and Garrett are not pictured because they were at his basketball practice.)
After dinner, I headed over to Jacob's basketball game. This is his first year to play. He did a great job! He had his arms up on defense and hustled up and down the court. He such a cutie, isn't he?

Looking forward to Spring

I can't wait for Spring! Don't get me wrong. I don't hate winter. I'm a good Missourian. I like all the seasons for a little while. I love winter because it brings out warm sweaters and sweatshirts, cloudy days, Christmas, and SNOW DAYS!

But really, I've had just about enough. I'm ready for the sun to stay out until 7:00 p.m., recess duty without a coat/scarf/gloves, and lower heating bills. I'm ready to ride my horse, wash my car myself, plant flowers, and go to my nephews' baseball games. And, dare I say it, I'm even ready to mow the yard! (If I had my way, though, it would only have to be mowed once a month instead of once a week.) Last, but not certainly not least, I'm ready for SPRING BREAK!!!

Bad Hair Day

Chloe has successfully taken the bow out of her hair again. It's been 2 weeks since she came home from the groomer. I guess that's a new record.

She is not a "girly-girl". She hates having a bow in her hair, but it helps to keep her eyes from watering. I can't get a bow in her hair to save my life, so it looks like we're going to have to make a trip to Tonya's. She always helps us out when this happens! (Notice how her hair is sticking straight up. Keep in mind there is no bow. That's just how wild her hair is! She looks even funnier when she's been rolling in her blanket and looks up at you with her hair sticking out in all directions because of static electricity.)

Closet Clean Out

Well, as you know, my closet has been in a real mess! Saturday I tackled it.

I'm so thankful that my Dad is always willing to come and help me whenever I need it! He came by today to put the rod back up.

I did go through all the clothes on that side of the closet today. This also meant going through all my shoes and purses. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I had 56 pairs of shoes! (As you can tell, I have trouble parting with things.) I pulled everything out to evaluate what stayed and what went.

Here's all the purses. The ones on the dresser are the ones I'm getting rid of.

Here are the clothes I had to go through. I had much better luck with this pile (as apposed to the shoe and purse piles). I was able to part with half of it.

Here are some of the shoes. I love shoes and was only able to part with 12 pairs. But, in this cleaning out process, I was reminded of several pair I forgot about! Imagine that! I went shopping in my own closet!

And finally, here's the finished product! (The pictures really don't do it justice.) The shoes are organized by season and color. It's very functional right now, but if I ever get married, there might not be enough room for his shoes or clothes!

You all have my permission to come over and randomly check my closet to make sure I'm keeping it this clean!

Happy Birthday, GayeAnn!

Happy Birthday to my fun-loving, crazy Aunt! I still remember the times Tonya and I would come and stay the night with you and Paul at your duplex and at your house on Blackburn Ct. You would let us sleep with one of your many bears. I also remember you trying to pass deer meat onto us, but we were on to you! My favorite memories are those of when we would ride in your camero. I remember thinking how fun it was to drive fast and listen to loud music. (Remember "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"?) I also have many unforgettable memories from our trips to Colorado and New Mexico. There's nothing that bonds you quite like a family trail ride!

I love you and hope you have a great day!!

-------UPDATE-------

We all went to Fuji's to celebrate GayeAnn's birthday.

Here are some of pictures:

Girls' Night

Friday I went out to dinner with my Mom. Afterward, Tina joined us and we went to see "He's Just Not That In To You". The evening was exactly what I needed! I love spending time with my mom and sisters. (Tonya, I wish you could have been there.)


It was perfect and I had a great time!

Not again!

Well, the four brackets that hold up the rod in my closet broke, again! Last summer it was the other side. After I replace these brackets, there will only be more section to replace. Dad, just for the record, looking at this picture I don't think it's because there's too many clothes on there. However, before I hang them all back up, I'm going to go through them.

Speaking of things breaking...we are doing an experiment at school tomorrow with hard boiled eggs. I have 5 teams, so I need 5 eggs. I had just the right amount, but 2 broke when I was boiling them. Tonight, I went to Tina's and borrowed 2 more and before I had even made it to the car, one of them broke, too! It just hasn't been my week!

Home sick again

I've been home sick again today. (Or, to clarify, I've been at my Mom's where the TV is better.) I was just doing this last Wednesday. I guess that's what I get for going back to work too soon.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm tired of just laying around! It's just about all I've done for the past 4 days! I've had a nasty cough and sore throat, but I finally started antibiotics Friday. I sure am ready to start feeling better and sounding like myself again. I hate being sick! Ok, enough complaining. On a brighter note, I have got a lot of grading done today! I was very behind. Even Leslie had more done than me! (he, he!)

Here's a picture of Chloe. She went with me to school Sunday so that I could prepare for a substitute. She LOVES going to school!

No Summer School for Me!

Decisions, decisions....

I don't know about you guys, but I'm not the world's greatest decision maker. I can't make decisions quickly or painlessly. However, when I do finally make one, I'm usually pretty happy with it and can often look back without regrets.

Recently, I had made the decision to teach summer school this year so that I could put new carpeting in my house. When I moved in 5 years ago, the former tenants hadn't been very nice to it, and I've had my share of mishaps with the bottle of carpet cleaner. (FYI: leaving the cleaner on the spot longer won't make it disappear!) While I wasn't particularly happy about spending even 19 more days in the classroom, I had decided that new carpeting was worth it! Decision made. Whew! I was pressing onward. Until...

I got an email Thursday that said there had been a change in plans, summer school would now be housed a different building. As I read it my stomach dropped and I was instantly sick. (Not only do I not make decisions well, but I don't handle change well, either.) A change in plans? Are you kidding me? After all the thinking, planning, and pep talks I had to give myself about teaching summer school in the first place? What was I going to do?

Well, after some much needed processing, which I've learned I have to do out loud, (thanks Mom, Kelly, and Tina for listening ) I've decided not to teach summer school! I've spent some time praying and now feel completely at peace about it. Yeah! Bring on the summer and 8 weeks of vacation!! Saturday, I even started making a list of things I want to do. You should see it! (You know, that might make an interesting post sometime...)

Sorry for rambling. Just had to share the exciting news!

My Valentine

For over the past 10 years, my Dad has brought me a long stem rose on Valentine's Day. He does this for my sisters and my cousin, too. It's so thoughtful of him! I still have one special card he attached to the rose a few years ago.

"Tammy, some day another will take my place in a different way. Until then, you're mine.

Love, Dad"

Dad, you'll never know how this act of kindness touches me! I love you for making me feel so loved and special!

Tornado Watch

When I got home Tuesday night after Parent-Teacher conferences, my mom met me at my house. She was there to pick up my Grana, who doesn't like to drive home in the rain. (Grana was leaving her car in my garage.) Mom said she was on her way to pick up Tina and the boys because of all the tornado watches and warnings. (Chris is out of town this week.) She asked if I wanted to go too and I thought, "Why not? I'll be making some memories!" So all 7 of us headed to Mom and Dad's for the night. Tina and the boys slept in the basement, Grana slept in the spare bedroom, and I slept on the couch in the living room. We had a great time! Thankfully there was no tornadoes in Ozark, only strong winds!

This is Garrett and Ethan getting ready for bed.

Grana was keeping up to date on everyone's blog.

Chase was working on homework. He took several breaks to tease and argue with me, but he finally finished an hour later!

And, as shocking as it sounds, Tina spent some time playing with Chloe.

Ah, such sweetie-pies!

Just for Leslie!

You asked me today where my latest blog has been, so here it is! I'm just blogging to blog so that you can see it's been updated and all will be right with the world. Love ya, Girl!

Missing him

I'm so thankful that the moments of missing Allen are fewer and farther between. While I do still miss him, the pain is not something I have to focus on forgetting every day. Time does heal.

However, there are still times when the pain of missing him grips me so much that it physically hurts. I felt this again on my way home Saturday evening. Maybe it was driving down the familiar rode we always took to his parents. Maybe it was spending the evening with my friend, the one I always spent time dreaming of a family with. I'm not sure what brought the grief on, but it was there. Grief for what was and what could have been.

I believe that a part of me will always love him because I gave a piece of myself to him. While I wish with everything in me that things had gone differently, I now know that there's nothing I could have done to change this outcome. That part was up to him.

I wonder if he still thinks of me. I wonder if he regrets the choices he made, and the ones he should have made, but didn't.

I wish that I could talk to him or see him again if only for a moment, but I know that's not what is best for either one of us. Even though he made mistakes, Allen was a good person. I just wish that he had loved me more than the sin he was in.

I'm choosing to believe that God has a new dream for me now, one that has been crafted in His hands. I know He is making beauty from these ashes.

Evening with Friends

Last night I headed to Bradleyville to visit Kayla and Boyd. She invited me down to talk decorating! They are planning on becoming foster parents, and are going to add on to their house. While she had everything planned out beautifully on her own, it was a nice reason to visit. (While I was there I was able to help with some DVD recording problems, though.) Kayla fixed delicious hamburgers, chicken, potatoes, and green beans. She's quite the cook!

After dinner, we sat down to a game of Phase 10. While Boyd was the favored winner, it was Kayla who pulled out the victory. I had a great time! Kayla, you'll never know how my heart soars to see you "living your dream"!

Remembering when...

I'm remembering when I spent Saturday mornings horseback riding. I wonder when we'll get to go again. Stormy, you've had quite a few weekends off. I bet even you are ready to "get back in the saddle". You should be well rested the next time we go!

Do You Wanna Dance?

Friday night I took Ethan and Abbie to High Pointe's school dance. We had a great time!

I picked up Ethan first. He's so cute! He's all about being "big". On the way to pick up Abbie, Ethan told me, "Meme? Do you know what you can call me? You can call me a big, strong man. 'Cause that's what I am...a man!" (Too cute!) When Abbie got in the car, he had to help her buckle up because he's "bigger".

When we picked Abbie up, she proudly told her Daddy she was going to a dance. Boy, did she look the part! She looked very put together with her purse, sparkly belt, and matching jacket!

Not only can Abbie accessorize, but she can dance, too! She's got some nice moves! Like the Abbie we all know, she went right out and joined in the fun. Ethan was more shy, but he did make it out on the dance floor a couple of times.

Before we left we hit the Book Fair and bought a cars book for Ethan and "Purplelicious" for Abs.

On the way home we stopped by McDonald's because Ethan was starving! They both got cheeseburger Happy Meals and ate all of their burgers. I guess they really worked up an appetite! We stopped by Tonya's to eat and visit with Jacob (who is recovering from surgery to have his adenoids removed). He was so sweet and seems to be recovering very quickly. Praise the Lord!

Abbie was ready for bed rather quickly (which is unusual) and Ethan went home as Spiderman (Jacob's old Halloween costume). We spent 5 minutes on the front porch making sure the mask was just right before we went inside. Ethan is SO Tina's child!

I think it's fair to save that the night was a success!

Midnight Madness

I'll give you one guess as to what I've been up to. I've been blogging! Here's the crazy thing...I wasn't even working on my own blog. (Well, not technically anyway. Leslie did help me fill out my profile. I'm so grateful!) I've been helping Tina set up her blog. Yeah! I'm so glad she's on board. While I was helping her, Leslie called. The three of us spent the next hour talking and updating/setting up blogs. Les, you're right. It's an addiction!! We need counseling!

Better late than never

So, I've joined Beth Moore's monthly bible memorization challenge. (I'm only going to memorize one a month instead of two.) Here's what I've chosen:

The Lord your God is with you,

He is Mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with his love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Thanks, Jen, for telling me about this verse! It's perfect for me right now!!

Girlfriends

Good friends are one of God's greatest blessings. They are literally one in a million. Finding them, and for me, learning to trust and lean on them can be difficult. But, when you make that connection, it's amazing! God uses these special friends to encourage you, pray for you, challenge you, and love you. I love laughing, sharing, crying, and losing all track of time with my Girlfriends.

Because life is so busy I don't get to spend the time with them that I'd like, but when the chance comes along to reconnect with them for an evening, it's one of life's sweetest gifts.


To all my Girlfriends out there, (and you know who you are), I truly feel like you are gifts from God. You are people He uses to love and care for me! I am a better person because you're a part of my life!!

Happy Birthday, Michelle!

Michelle, I'm so thankful for you! You were the one we all wanted to play with and be like when we were growing up. Still to this day, I value your opinion more than you probably know.

While I'm saddened at how little we see one another these day, I'm also thankful for all the times we have shared. You have always been there for me whenever I've needed you, whether it's to lend an ear or to drop everything to help me move into a new classroom!

I love you and hope you have a wonderful day! Please know that you are loved and are being thought of, especially today!!

I may not have children, but...

I do have a 3 year old Maltese! When I got home today I found 74 pieces of dog food scattered around the living room in little piles. Yes, 74! I know because I counted each and every one of them as I picked them up! Although these pictures don't show it, Chloe is very ornery and can be a bit spiteful when she feels she's not getting enough attention.

Happy Birthday, Tonya!

The big day is here! You're 30!!! Think about it like this, the first 20 years or so were spent carefree, being a kid. You've really only spent 10 years living as an adult. In that short amount of time you got married, bought a house, and had 2 amazing kids! I'd say you're off to a great start!!

My prayer and hope for you would be that you would spend the next 70 years reliving some of the finer moments of your childhood. You know, things like laughing more and worrying less, playing whenever possible and leaving those chores for later (Don't worry they'll get done!), seizing the day outside instead of spending it all inside "getting things done", and best of all, now that Abby's getting older, you can relive one of our favorite parts of childhood: playing Barbies! (She'll love that!)

While we feel like the first 30 years went fast, the next 70 will go even faster! Soak it up, Sis and make each day the best it can be!I love you and am so grateful for the memories I've made with you! I looking forward to creating more together!!

Music...it soothes my soul

Music is such a powerful thing! It can take you back to an emotional, memorable moment, recreate the scene, and make you swear you're there living it again. Music can elicit almost any emotion: happiness, sadness, loneliness, excitement, peace, etc...

I love music whether it means just listening or singing along. God definitely uses music to encourage me, remind me of His promises, or just to speak peace to my heart. I'm so thankful for all the singer/songwriters He's gifted with the incredible talent of creating music. I could name a song that has ministered to me for almost every season of my life.

The past few years I've clung to songs that remind me of God's promise of His faithfulness and His love and care. After a period of healing, the song has just recently changed for me. As I'm entering a new season, one of the songs I feel like God has laid on my heart has been one about the promises I will make to Him. Promises of obedience and serving and worshipping Him while I wait for direction. I thought I'd share this new song, believing the words are too good to keep to myself.

While I'm Waiting

by John Waller

I am waiting.
I’m waiting on you Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on your Lord, though it is painful
But patiently I will wait

(chorus)
I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve you
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not fade, I’ll be running the race,
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on your Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on your Lord, though it’s not easy
No, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait
(repeat chorus)

What song(s) has God used to encourage and/or speak to you?