February 2012 brought the opportunity to experience a brand new first for me...a blind date.
A sweet friend at school told me about this mystery man and asked if she could give him my number. Wanting to be open to these new opportunities, I nervously said yes. The call came quite a few months later, and to say that his call was a shock would have been an understatement. But, I continued to be open. We talked on the phone several different times before we our schedules let us meet. Thankfully, conversation was easy, but nothing prepares you for the moment of meeting face to face. That moment when you're insecurities scream at you and you're trying not to get your hopes up and you're working hard not to worry about everything. (I tend to over-think things and try to have a plan for nearly every possible situation.)
The evening went well. We met and just talked from 6:30 until close to 10:00. While I didn't feel there was a future here, I left with such a peace. I've been praying for quite some time that God would be able to use the journey I'd been on to encourage someone else. That evening, He did just that. I was able to share with someone who was hurting from a similar situation and offer hope about the future. When I drove away, I couldn't believe how far I'd come. That evening showed me that I'm ready for what is ahead. I'm healed and whole and able to leave the past in the past. And while it seems it has taken me forever to get to this place, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sometimes it seems like there is no hope for me, that there's no possibility for a future husband and kids. It seems as if all the opportunities have vanished. I'm so thankful that Jesus loves me enough to consistently remind me that He is in control and that He has good plans for my life. Just before church on the Wednesday after this blind date, I was in my bedroom getting ready for church. My heart was heavy with disappointment and fear, but God reminded me that He sent His one and only Son to die for me. If He'd do that, wouldn't He also take care of the desires of my heart? After all, the Bible says He's the one who put them there. Then, as if this reminder wasn't precious enough, before we took communion that night, the pastor said exactly the same thing!! I couldn't help but smile and say, "Yes, Lord. I hear you!"
So folks, I'm looking forward to the opportunities that lie ahead because of the promises God has made me!