Pages

Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Must See

This gave me goosebumps! I hope you'll be able to find a few minutes to listen. It will put things in perspective, encourage, and uplift you. Ahh, music! It soothes my soul!



I want people around me to know the One I serve. I want them to know a personal relationship with Him. I want them to experience how this will forever change their life.
I want my life to be a reflection of the fact that circumstances and struggles do not define who I am. I serve a Mighty God. His grace is more than sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning. Nothing can defeat me, but me. I want my life to be one of praise and surrender; one that reflects these verses.

I Thessalonians 5:16 "Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

"I will praise you Oh Lord with all my heart, I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name Oh Most High." Psalm 9:1-2

It's about that time. Are you kidding me?

We are in the final days of July. Have 2 months already passed by? How can that be? In about a week and a half I will be back in the classroom. There are some aspects about this that I'm excited about: reorganizing/setting up my room, seeing Kelly and Leslie on a daily basis, teaching, .working with our new principal.......................... yep, that's about it.

Part of me is very fearful about what the year holds with my students. Last year's start to the year was the most difficult one I've ever had. Some things were going on that definitely shouldn't have. Even knowing that I probably won't have to endure circumstances quite like that ever again, I still feel unsure about starting school. However, I really believe that my 20 or so students were placed not by chance, but by providence. For me, teaching is a ministry and an opportunity to share God's love, and He promises He'll never put more on us than we can handle.

I have no doubt that last year sharpened my classroom management skills. I got to meet my new students on the last day of school, and they seemed like a great group. I need to remind myself that I love kids, and that this year I'll probably actually get to teach, which will make it even better. It's going to be OK. It's not going to be like last year. It's going to be so much better!

Sorry for the rambling. Apparently, I needed a "self-talk" attitude adjustment. :)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thankful

I have so much to be thankful for!
I'm thankful that I'm able to spend an afternoon with my Grana, Mom, and sister! (Tonya, we missed you!!) I'm thankful that we can enjoy one another doing something as simple sharing lunch and shopping at Sam's.
I'm thankful for an evening with a dear friend. Kelly, you and I endured some difficult situations during our first year of knowing each other. I'm thankful for those hard times, though, because they made us "fast friends". I always feel so energized and uplifted after spending time with you! You have this unique way of finding a purpose in everything. I'm thankful for an evening filled with good conversation and laughter. (Sorry for the old picture. Can you believe I let the night pass without snapping a picture?!)
I'm thankful for parents who take care of me, even when it means spending a few hours on a Saturday replacing a garbage disposal they surprised me with!
I'm thankful for Leslie, who is celebrating a birthday today. Leslie, I'm so thankful for you! You are an amazing friend! I love the way our friendship has become so familiar and easy. I'm looking forward to celebrating many more special occasions with you!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Summer Bible Study-Week 3 (w/ a bonus feature)

Tonight was another great night. To all of you Girls who come, thank you! Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. You have encouraged, inspired, and uplifted me. I'm learning so much!

For those of you who haven't been able to be a part of this study, here are some topics we're discussing:
  • words and the influence they have over us
  • who we are and what we struggle with are not the same thing
  • we need to rely on God's Word and not our own
  • wrong thinking comes from faulty assumptions
  • we have a choice: "Act according to truth or react to our emotions."
  • "By faith we receive truth. By faith we believe truth. And by faith we act on truth."
  • God gave us the Holy Spirit to teach, comfort, counsel, and defend us.
  • we need to be awake and have our shield of faith ready to fight against the devil's attacks
  • we've become so used to the lies Satan tell us, we often think it's our own voice
  • prayer is the best weapon when fighting the devil
  • we need accountability

Talk about food for your soul, huh?

Each week we meet together we watch Beth's video on her thoughts, discuss some topics she lays out for us, and comment on her blog about our time together. Tonight we decided to have some fun and be different. We put our comments in the form of a rap. It was a blast! (I'm so sorry you missed Jen's performance. It was definitely award winning! Ha! Love ya, Girl!) Here's what we came up with:

A little rap from the Bible Study "Babes" in Springfield, MO.

5-6-7-8: Holla!
Me, Myself, and Lies is what we folla'.

Yo, Bethie we're here
to tell ya 'bout our fears.

Satan tells us lies
And sometimes makes us cry.

We're stepping out in faith
To claim our rightful place.

Like the woman with the flo,
We need our faith to grow!

We recognized our triggers,
And we know that God is bigger.

To keep our closets from the fire,
We're kickin' out that big fat liar!

Word to the Father!!!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

50 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

Leslie tagged me, so here are some things you may or may not know about me. (Even though I consider myself an open book.)

1. I cannot use the very last in a bottle of anything. (ketchup, lotion, water, etc...)

2. I used to be scared to death of horses! I only learned to ride 6 years ago because I wanted to go on a trip with family in the Rocky Mountains.

3. I don't trust easily, but once I do, I'm pretty transparent.

4. I hate the feel of lotion, but occasionally make myself put it on anyway.

5. I enjoy the movies that have been made from the Janette Oke books.

6. Even though I know I'm going to heaven, the Second Coming has always been a bit scary to me.

7. When I shake rugs, I have to shake them 7 times in the air and then 3 times against the deck.

8. I avoid washing dishes by hand because it takes me forever. I never feel like they're clean enough.

9. When I'm at home, I love to eat ketchup with egg rolls. (Gross, I know!)

10. I've lived in 4 houses my entire life. (Including the one I live in now.)

11. I only spend 5 minutes on my hair. (That explains a lot about the way it looks, I'm sure.)

12. I would love to do the Beth Moore study of Esther all over again.

13. I love pictures! Taking them and looking at them!

14. If I have an unresolved issue with someone, I'm incapable of making small talk until the "elephant in the room" has been addressed.

15. I enjoy alone time.

16. I have an obsession with paper clips and notepads. I never feel like I have enough!

17. I would love to have 3 kids and a Godly husband.

18. I don't eat snacks at the movies. I've tried, but feel like they keep me from enjoying the movie.

19. I have a hard time eating fruit because of seeds. (strawberries, kiwi, any type of melon) Looking at them gives me the feeling of fingernails on a chalkboard. Yuck!

20. I love the beach,. I equally enjoy the mountains!!

21. I have to sleep under the covers.

22. I love, love, love romantic comedies.

23. I fight my sleep. I force myself to stay awake even late at night. I do this because (during the school year) it makes me feel like I had more time at home.

24. Which brings us to this next fact. If I've been busy and have spent several days in a row away from home for long periods of time, I get crabby.

25. I am a huge procrastinator. To help with this in 1 area, I'm living by the 30 second rule. If it takes less than 30 seconds to do, do it immediately. It really is making a difference!

26. I love candles and picture frames.

27. Scary movies are not for me! Not even the previews!!

28. My Papa built a pond for me when I was in the fourth grade because I loved fishing so much.

29. I love to just sit and watch people. (Not in a scary stalker way, but in a quiet, observant way.)

30. I love to organize, but am way too easily overwhelmed when doing it. I often have to call for back-up.

31. I hate to have my feet touched.

32. Birds scare me to death!!

33. I enjoy listening to country music.

34. I love to shop for bargains!

35. I'd love to take a trip with just girls.

36. I can't stand to push back my cuticles and the sound of nails being filed makes me feel weird.

37. I am a "pack rat". I have a hard time throwing things away. I always think: "I may need that again someday." or "Oh, so-and-so gave that to me. I can't get rid of that!"

38. I can't swim without holding my nose.

39. I've always wanted to be able to play the piano.

40. I'm a sensitive person. I used to wish that I could change this. Now, I know it can be a good thing because it will hopefully make me more compassionate to other people.

41. I break a sweat way too easily.

42. I wish I was a morning person, but I'm a night owl.

43. I love to make lists.

44. I'm a planner. I always plan out the next day before I go to bed. (I'm trying to be more spontaneous, though.)

45. I like working with technology and figuring things out for myself.

46. When I get something new, I like reading the instruction book.

47. I won't let myself start a new book until I've read the preface and/or acknowledgements.

48. I have a hard time "putting myself out there".

49. I love the way my house smells when it's just been cleaned.

50. I have to fight the urge to put walls up, even with my closest friends.

There you have it. 50 things you may or may not have known about me! I can't wait to read yours!!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Remembering, but Not Missing

It's weird how the mind works. Sometimes the weirdest things can trigger old, not often thought about memories. When I think about it, though, I guess it's not that strange. For the past couple of days a common topic of conversation among friends and family has been marriage. Knowing this, I guess it's only natural that I would be reflecting on my own short (16 month) marriage. While my friends and family were talking about their experiences (good and bad), I couldn't help but feel relieved that I was no longer married. If you've known me at all these past 4 years, you know how absolutely crazy that sounds! I've grieved for what I lost for so long! But, time does heal all things, and with healing, I'm beginning to remember the truth of what my marriage really was. And let me tell you, the memories are not pretty.

I remember the many, many lies. Lying even when I had evidence of the truth!

I remember dreading coming home from work because I feared discovering the truth about something else.

I remember feeling like the only adult in the relationship and having to handle all major decisions on my own.

I remember being yelled at when I confronted him.

I remember the intense fear I felt when he would lose his temper because I'd caught him in another lie.

I remember how I labored to breathe during one of the many asthma attacks when he lost his temper. I remember how afraid I was when he wouldn't leave me alone.

I remember all the times I tried to get away from him when he was mad. I remember the shoving. I remember all the times I was pinned against the wall. I remember all the time I was trapped inside the house not allowed to leave. I remember the 2 times I actually managed to get away. He chased me outside, beating on the car windows, yelling at me and following me while I backed out.

I remember all the times I cried myself to sleep, feeling unwanted and undesirable.

I remember the feeling of loneliness. (Loneliness that exceeds anything I've experienced in these past 4 years.)

I remember being numb.

I remember the feeling of hopelessness.

I remember all the effort and fight it took to put one foot in front of the other.

I remember putting on a mask to hide all that was going on.


This is the first time I've been able to remember some of this since it happened. I guess my mind suppressed the most painful memories. It has to be a sign of healing and that I'm getting stronger, if my brain is allowing me to remember them again, right? Remembering is painful, but I never want to forget. I'm reminded of the words to a song a dear friend introduced me to: "Lord, heal the wound, but leave the scar. A reminder of how merciful you are." Not only did He save me, He has healed me, too!

While my situation ended sadly, I know that God created and intended marriage to be good. After all, he created Eve for Adam. I'm not kidding myself. I know that if and when I marry again, it will be difficult. I know there will probably be some things I have to work through. However, I'm confident of one thing. It will not be something I take for granted. I think everything I've gone through will give me a deep appreciation of a healthy relationship. Healthy, not perfect.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Whew!

As you know, it wasn't very long ago that my trusty laptop was infected with a virus and crashed. Luckily, my brother-in-law rebuilt it for me. Me, being the procrastinator that I am, has not "synced" my ipod to my "new" computer. Tonight I thought I'd go ahead and do it. Well, it wasn't nearly as easy as I imagined that it would be.

Apparently, you can only sync one way...from computer to ipod, not the other way around. (This is because of some new feature on the itouch and iphone.) I was able to transfer all music that I purchased through itunes, but I could not transfer any songs I had burned from CD's! I was not a happy camper!! I was going to lose at least 100 songs, and I no longer had the CD's to get them back. This was unacceptable!

I googled my problem and luckily found a program called ipodRip. It allowed me to "rip" 100 songs from the ipod without purchasing the software. Whew! There were only about 25 that I ended up actually losing since I was able to transfer all the songs that I purchased!!

Can I tell you how relieved/excited I am!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I dodged a bullet! I love my music!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Blast from the Past

I spent the day working...if you can call what I did today work. I was at the High School helping out with a Math conference. All I did was greet people, make sure people knew where they were going, and made sure all rooms were "put back together" at the end of the day. While the day may have been slow, I can tell you right now this was SO much easier than putting together a presentation and being nervous about giving it! Thanks, Cheryl, for the opportunity at some extra cash!!

This brings me to the point of this post. I saw my very best friend from elementary school today...Julie Sweeton! We were inseparable back in the day. We spent time at each other's house, attended church camp together, and played together at recess nearly every day. I wasn't sure if she'd remember me or not, but I took a chance and approached her anyway. Sure enough she did. I found out that she teaches 3rd grade in Willard and is beginning her 9th year of teaching. She has 3 kids!! We also spent some time catching up on each other families (moms, dads, brothers and sisters.) It was wonderful!! Who knew that we'd both choose the same career!

When I catch up with a friend from the past, it's so hard for me not to compare my life with theirs. After all, we are the same age and have had the same amount of time to accomplish things. Do you find yourself doing this? I can't help but feel that I'm way behind in life. (Lord knows this isn't what I had planned for myself.) Then, I begin to panic. I lose faith. I worry. I even become disgruntled. Before I know it, this rare opportunity of catching up with an old friend becomes something that causes me pain. Can anyone relate?

I'm reminded of what a good friend of mine shared with me. She said that we are each running our own race. I'm not supposed to look over at my sister while she's running hers. I need to focus on the path that's been carved out for me. It may be taking a few more twists and turns than I'd like, but God does have a plan. A plan for my future. Me. A tiny speck in this enormous universe, but God care about me enough to make plans for my life. Amazing how much we're loved and taken care of, huh? This is a promise God made to each of us. No worrying is necessary.

So, I'm guarding my thought closet. Worry isn't going to crowd in today. I'm reminded that my situation does not define who I am!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Week in Review

Tonight my dear, sweet dad reminded me that it's been almost a week since I've blogged. So, I thought I'd fill you in on what I've been up to in my absence.

Monday - a little shopping with Mom. I got this new wall display for my dining room at Pier 1. (I've had my eye on it for quite a while. I love it!)
That evening we went horseback riding. It was a beautiful evening!!

Tuesday - mowed the yard, went to lunch and Hobby Lobby with Kelly, went to Chase's ballgames.I've been looking for bookends for the nightstand in my bedroom. I found these at Hobby Lobby.

Wednesday - worked on staining Mom's deck and hosted Bible Study that evening. Bible Study was amazing, by the way!!

Thursday - finished staining Mom's deck and went to Leslie's to watch the Big Brother premier. Carson called and left me the sweetest message. He wanted to know if I would bring my puppy. Chloe is ALWAYS ready to go somewhere, so she was so excited!
She loved all the attention and TLC she got while she was there. She came home pretty pooped out.

Friday (today) - ran errands, went grocery shopping, and went to Grandma and Papa's for a cookout. They wanted to have everyone over to celebrate all the great-grandkids' baseball seasons. They outdid themselves! They didn't let anyone bring a thing. They took care of everything, and it was wonderful!!

We played a cut-throat game of Bocce Ball.

Check out those dirty feet! Sure looks like she found some fun of her own!

I think that brings you up-to-date. No deep, thought provoking words here. Just a recap of summer fun!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Thoughts Inside My Head

Last Sunday was my last Sunday at the church where I've worshipped and served my entire life. The decision wasn't easy, and I'm not going to go into all of the details and events that lead up to making it. I have yet to blog about it because, for whatever reason, I haven't been able to make sense of or organize the thoughts inside my head. I'm not sure I can even do it now. However, I think I might be able to work through some things by writing them down. So, this post is for me. I'm hoping it will bring about some clarity.

Worries:
  • How do I go about finding a new church when so much of my heart is still at Grace? I went to another church today, and while I thoroughly enjoyed the message, I couldn't help but feel lost and out of place.
  • I believe that as Christians we have all been called to be involved in ministry. I'm so shy and have a hard time putting myself out there, how I ever find a place in a new church where I feel comfortable to do this?
  • I'm so worried about Chris, my brother-in-law. He was the worship minister at Grace and did a phenomenal job! Everyone could see that God's anointing was upon him. He's been given such a gift and love for music. Will he find a place to use it again?
  • My Papa has been a Greeter at Grace for as long as I can remember. He's always been the one to greet us as we enter the doors. Today he resigned from this position so that he could be more free to visit us at our new churches. I can't begin to comprehend how that must have hurt him. It breaks my heart to think that a decision I made is causing him pain in any way.
  • This will be hard on the kids and especially on Chase.
  • I loved going to church with my family. Is that something I'll be able to continue to do?
  • I'm scared. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know where God is leading me. Change is uncomfortable to say the very least.
  • Will I ever be able to go to Grace and regularly attend there once again?
  • How long will this decision hurt?

While there are many concerns and worries filling my thoughts, I have to stand on what I believe.

  • I believe God was the one who let me know it was time to go. Therefore, He has something else in store for me.
  • As Tina so eloquently put it, God is the one who gave Chris his incredible vocal talent. He will have an avenue for Him to use it.
  • God is the same no matter where I worship Him.
  • I don't have to figure out the "how". I just have to follow Jesus.
  • This is definitely not something I wanted or was hoping for, but God wants me to be free in Him. Free from these worries and fears. That freedom comes from surrender. I need to let go, give it to Him, and keep looking forward.

Please pray for me and my family as we make this difficult transition. I'll keep you posted on how He's answering them!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th of July!

For as long as I can remember it's been a Myers family tradition to get together and shoot fireworks. When I was younger, we all gathered at my Papa's farm outside of Ava. At my Aunt Carole's request we would all stay the night in the old farmhouse. I remember horseback rides, fishing, and fish fry's. There are a couple of lively stories I could tell involving Tina and the outhouse, but I'll let her tell you those! (Ha!)
The past several years have involved much less elaborate celebrations of the fourth. Today, my mom and I started the day with shopping. This evening we met at Tina's for dinner complete with pork steaks, fried potatoes, corn on the cob, and asparagus. (Yum!) Then, we all headed out to Willard at GayeAnn's house for whiffle ball, homemade ice cream, and fireworks!
We're all lined up, ready for the show!

Dad is telling GayeAnn one of Papa's famous stories! He's a very gifted story teller!

The evening was beautiful! During the firework show, there was beautiful lightning from an electrical storm. I so wish I could have captured a picture of it. It was like God was showing us his own fireworks. He truly is a God of wonders!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Quality Time

A couple of days ago I was talking to Tina about the new Transformers movie. Chase overheard and informed me that he "free" the rest of the week, so we set a date to see it together. We set out to watch the 4:00 movie, stopping at Mr. Bulky's on the mall first for some essential "movie snacks".

We arrived at the theater with everything we needed. (Thankfully I carry a purse big enough to hold bags of candy and soda.) I know I'm a "worry wart", but do any of you worry about getting caught? I go as far as to hide what I've snuck in until the movie starts, just in case someone might decide to come in and check. Chase thought I was losing my mind!

He is such a goober! I couldn't get him to smile for a picture.

We really enjoyed the movie! It offered a little of everything: action, drama, romance, and humor! I absolutely love spending this time with Chase. He's so much fun to talk to and is much more open when it's just the two of us.

After the movie we called the rest of the gang. They were all at Jacob and Ethan's ballgame. They told us they were going to Mexican Villa for dinner. Chase and I decided to join them. (This was, of course, after I told Chase I'd take him to McDonald's first.)

After dinner we all decided the evening was too pretty not to stay out and enjoy. So, we headed over to Fun Acre for a game of putt-putt. (Yes, even I can be spontaneous when on vacation!)

Ethan made a hole in one! He was so proud of himself. (Pop and Uncle Matt did, too!)

Abby did a great job, too. While she may not have had the stance or grip of a true golfer, she gave it her all. She never threw her club, but she did threaten to beat up the alligator at the 17th hole. (he, he!)

Chase beat Dad. Mom beat Chase, but Chris and Matt beat everyone!

Of course, a trip to Fun Acre is not complete without hitting the batting cages!

With all the things I find myself "between" right now (relationships, churches, even jobs in a way), I treasure my family more than ever!