Thoughts Inside My Head

Last Sunday was my last Sunday at the church where I've worshipped and served my entire life. The decision wasn't easy, and I'm not going to go into all of the details and events that lead up to making it. I have yet to blog about it because, for whatever reason, I haven't been able to make sense of or organize the thoughts inside my head. I'm not sure I can even do it now. However, I think I might be able to work through some things by writing them down. So, this post is for me. I'm hoping it will bring about some clarity.

Worries:

• How do I go about finding a new church when so much of my heart is still at Grace? I went to another church today, and while I thoroughly enjoyed the message, I couldn't help but feel lost and out of place.
• I believe that as Christians we have all been called to be involved in ministry. I'm so shy and have a hard time putting myself out there, how I ever find a place in a new church where I feel comfortable to do this?
• I'm so worried about Chris, my brother-in-law. He was the worship minister at Grace and did a phenomenal job! Everyone could see that God's anointing was upon him. He's been given such a gift and love for music. Will he find a place to use it again?
• My Papa has been a Greeter at Grace for as long as I can remember. He's always been the one to greet us as we enter the doors. Today he resigned from this position so that he could be more free to visit us at our new churches. I can't begin to comprehend how that must have hurt him. It breaks my heart to think that a decision I made is causing him pain in any way.
• This will be hard on the kids and especially on Chase.
• I loved going to church with my family. Is that something I'll be able to continue to do?
• I'm scared. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know where God is leading me. Change is uncomfortable to say the very least.
• Will I ever be able to go to Grace and regularly attend there once again?
• How long will this decision hurt?

While there are many concerns and worries filling my thoughts, I have to stand on what I believe.

• I believe God was the one who let me know it was time to go. Therefore, He has something else in store for me.
• As Tina so eloquently put it, God is the one who gave Chris his incredible vocal talent. He will have an avenue for Him to use it.
• God is the same no matter where I worship Him.
• I don't have to figure out the "how". I just have to follow Jesus.
• This is definitely not something I wanted or was hoping for, but God wants me to be free in Him. Free from these worries and fears. That freedom comes from surrender. I need to let go, give it to Him, and keep looking forward.

Please pray for me and my family as we make this difficult transition. I'll keep you posted on how He's answering them!