Gripped by fear

That's been my problem.  I've been gripped by fear.  I'm an avoider and will put walls up to protect myself, even from those I love most, out of fear.  Fear of hurt, fear of needing someone more than they need me, and fear of rejection.  That's where I had been living and because I had listened to lies from the enemy, I had distanced myself from one of my dearest friends.  Thankfully there are people in my life who break down those walls and will cry and work through the tough stuff with me.

You know what else is frightening?  Knowing something is out of your control!  That's the kind of fear I've dealt with today.  I've been trying to rise above the gossip and lies, but when there's someone you work with that's determined to dislike you, fear is something you have to fight daily.  What do you do when others believe her lies?  There's no comfort in knowing that you have no control over who or what others choose to believe.  All you can do is continually put yourself out there to show them you're not the way you've been described.  Sometimes it's just too much.  Today was one of those days.  After crying (always such a great release) and talking to family and friends, I'm reminded that this is just spiritual warfare and God's already won the war. What have I to fear?  I'm going to continue to pray that God will bring all things to light and that I will live in such a way that others will see my heart. 

Fear.  A tool of the devil that's for sure! 

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  (Isaiahm41:10)